It's happened before. An enjoyable evening-turned-night with friends/family, ripe with laughter and honesty, vulnerability and connection, begins to grate upon the surfer's spirit. These gatherings, complete with memories made and revisited, are the times to cherish and hold, so we are told. It is the human's great purpose to seek humanity with others. Community is both evolutionary impetus and spiritual fulcrum, so we are told. Lean into these moments, breathe them deeply. Yes, yes. I know.
And yet, on one particular evening, or one of many particular evenings. I yawn a bit prematurely. I quickly glance at the weather report that flashes on the screen in the background of the humanity happening all around. I use the restroom to do nothing of the sort, instead checking buoys and conditions for the morning to come, wondering with only mild shame "when is it too early to go, to leave and sink into sleep?". Morning will come but only once I've escaped.
So I am tired or dutiful or doting upon my children ("Look how sleepy my youngest is. I'd better get her home to bed."). Gracefully or gracelessly I exit the theater of meaning in search of a theater of my own making. I levy a tax of lies upon this moment, aware the later benefit is delayed but without doubt.
A few friends know. They know with varying degrees of understanding. Some resent my lies, for that is what they are, crassly.
And what of the other lies told? "I can afford this new board." "I really want to surf (share my waves!) with you in the morning, meet you at Spot X." "I must've looked great on that wave." No. "This shaper/shop owner really respects me." "A sticker, shirt, or board lam means I am a real surfer." "I don't care what they think of my board or surfing." "I'm going to surf forever."
We've head it said that to surf is to seek connection to the spiritual. I wonder what The Spirit would think about the lies we make to connect?
I suppose the surfer's condition is simply the human conditioned magnified- rife with inconsistency and selfishness while also blessed with the beauty of community and the sublime transcendence of the moment of riding the wave.
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